As I pulled laundry out of the dryer on Saturday, I
was thinking how much my life has changed. During those earlier days, in my 20s and 30s, I realized that I wasn’t as fussy with whom I spent time with as I thought I was.
I’m not talking about my girlfriends back then because they were my rock. I’m
talking about looking for that special love and how many times I thought I’d
found the right one, when in fact, he wasn’t ready to be found yet. The only
wonderful event from those days was the gift of my son, two beautiful
granddaughters, and two precious great-grandbabies I wouldn't give back for anything.
Through my late 30s and early 40s, I had a dear
friend from high school, you know who you are, who told me without skipping a beat that I was
being too fussy. Well, by that time, I’d seen too many friends and family go
through divorces, and I told her so. My “being too fussy” paid off when, in my mid-40s,
46 to be exact, I married the man I’d been waiting for since high school, only
didn’t know it. We had a wonderful and loving marriage and partnership for almost
17 years. He had my heart and soul, and I believed we’d be together forever.
When he passed in 2018, I had no intention of ever
wanting to date or having a man friend again. But in recent years that intention
has been re-evaluated, and I’d like to have a man friend in my life to do things with; you
know what I mean, go on day trips together, take me out to dinner and the movies (even if he doesn't care for what I would like to see), open doors
for me (including car doors even if I’m driving), walk me to my car, spoil me
with little unexpected surprises, is romantic, and have fun with all the while treating me
like I was someone special in their life and deserved to be treated as such. That being with that person feels like you're home.
There have been a few men in the past couple of
years who were interesting and, on the surface, had possibilities. When one in
particular was a little forward one night when a group of friends gathered for an evening of wine and conversation (we
were and still are in the friend zone, and as of this writing, I don’t see
things changing, but life can always throw you a curveball, so who knows), I abruptly left as soon as I could. The next day, I was then told I was “being too fussy” in not-so-many-words by a different friend, who knows who they are. Note: this friend has
since re-evaluated their opinion of that night.
Being a widow or widower is not for the faint of
heart. Finding a partner who treats you the way you deserve is not easy.
Everyone seems to be “looking for love in all the wrong places,” but I’d rather
say they are looking for it in all the wrong ways. Maybe I expect too much out
of men my age but damn it! I’m worth the time and effort. And so are you!
Follow your gut and don’t settle; being too fussy has its rewards! Second
chapters are possible, and I’m looking forward to opening mine when the time is
right and he is ready to be found.
The weather is dysfunctional again. It’s hot, humid,
and rain is in the forecast for the next 10 days. I miss having the windows
open and the fresh air filtering through the house. I am already looking
forward to fall.
Since my WIP took a turn last week I wasn’t expecting,
I have been contemplating how to proceed. I love the plot twist, and even
though I may not have been putting words to paper, I have been thinking about
it. I’m a writer who is character-driven more than plot, so I must go where my
characters take me, after all it's their life and story I'm telling. LOL
That’s all the wisdom I have for this week.
Have a great week! Love, laugh, and love like it’s
your last time with those you love.
I can never thank you enough for continuing to read
these snippets into my life as an author. I hope I haven’t bored you too much
with them. 😊 After all, others’ lives are never as glamorous as we may think.
May your ereader or bookshelf overflow with great
books to read!
Maxine
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